Le Temping Perdu
Apologies for the break.
In the last few weeks I have resigned from the permanent well-paid part time position with the private law firm and have thrown myself back into the chaotic world of temping. This is mainly due to life circumstances and the need to fit a crappy day job around them but I'd be lying if I denied that a little part of it was fuelled by the desire to have more entertaining stories to write about. In my previous job, things had become bearable and there wasn't a whole lot left to whinge about. In my new role, well, I just don't know where to start. I could being with relating how I am being taught the alphabet vis a vis filing but I choose to start even further back and relay my brief foray into the wonderful world of Temp Agencies.
(Thanks to my old fim for the $60 bottle of wine as a leaving gift. Far better than a $30 Accessorize voucher as is the fate of some secretaries I know. I guess it helped that my department co-ordinator was a fellow alcoholic. Cork in hand, I salute you.)
And now, let's talk about Julia Ross.
Two weeks before I quit the old job, I duly sent out the usual batch of resumes and cover letters to the usual gaggle of temp agencies and was inundated with calls from women at said agencies, all of whose names ended in the letter 'a'. I duly made appointments for the round of interviews and sailed through most of them, all the while sticking to my preferred role as a contract worker instead of considering permanent roles which were constantly shoved in my face by agency hacks looking to make a big fat commission.
For anyone who's ever been a temp, you know the drill. You walk into the agency, you fill out the form, you take the spelling test and you have the nice 10 minute chat with the Agency Rep who Sources Employment (ARSE). Once you have finished with ARSE, you are then taken to a windowless room (always) and sat in front of a computer to do a Word, Excel and Typing test. You then wait for another 5 minutes for ARSE to re-enter and say 'that was quick!'. No matter how long you take, they will always say 'that was quick!' on completion of these inane tests. Likewise they will always get excited over the fact you can spell words like 'committee' and 'government' even though your work history shows employment in top tier firms where those words are required to be spelled on a daily basis. I tell you what, if you ever have any self-esteem issues, go and register with a temp agency. They will make you feel smart just by being able to write your own name.
You then leave and usually in the next 24 hours you get a call from the ARSE offering you a wildly inappropriate and underpaid position and one which you were not looking for in the first place. One agency I applied with for legal secretary work called to offer me a position as a medical filing clerk. Ignore the fear that if you say 'no' to the first role they will not offer you another one. You are their bread and butter. For once, they must kiss your arse and not the other way around. I learnt the hard way years ago after accepting the first position that was offered to me and ended up in a two week filing job at $9 an hour. Learn from my mistake.
I normally don't name and shame because despite stupidity and illogical processes, most people in firms and agencies are well-intentioned. However there are rare, stunning examples of complete dickheaded-ness which make me feel obliged to identify - not so much to castigate but to warn others.
Julia Ross….come on DOWN!!!!!
(Rant to be continued - I have just been given some filing and told that B comes before C)
In the last few weeks I have resigned from the permanent well-paid part time position with the private law firm and have thrown myself back into the chaotic world of temping. This is mainly due to life circumstances and the need to fit a crappy day job around them but I'd be lying if I denied that a little part of it was fuelled by the desire to have more entertaining stories to write about. In my previous job, things had become bearable and there wasn't a whole lot left to whinge about. In my new role, well, I just don't know where to start. I could being with relating how I am being taught the alphabet vis a vis filing but I choose to start even further back and relay my brief foray into the wonderful world of Temp Agencies.
(Thanks to my old fim for the $60 bottle of wine as a leaving gift. Far better than a $30 Accessorize voucher as is the fate of some secretaries I know. I guess it helped that my department co-ordinator was a fellow alcoholic. Cork in hand, I salute you.)
And now, let's talk about Julia Ross.
Two weeks before I quit the old job, I duly sent out the usual batch of resumes and cover letters to the usual gaggle of temp agencies and was inundated with calls from women at said agencies, all of whose names ended in the letter 'a'. I duly made appointments for the round of interviews and sailed through most of them, all the while sticking to my preferred role as a contract worker instead of considering permanent roles which were constantly shoved in my face by agency hacks looking to make a big fat commission.
For anyone who's ever been a temp, you know the drill. You walk into the agency, you fill out the form, you take the spelling test and you have the nice 10 minute chat with the Agency Rep who Sources Employment (ARSE). Once you have finished with ARSE, you are then taken to a windowless room (always) and sat in front of a computer to do a Word, Excel and Typing test. You then wait for another 5 minutes for ARSE to re-enter and say 'that was quick!'. No matter how long you take, they will always say 'that was quick!' on completion of these inane tests. Likewise they will always get excited over the fact you can spell words like 'committee' and 'government' even though your work history shows employment in top tier firms where those words are required to be spelled on a daily basis. I tell you what, if you ever have any self-esteem issues, go and register with a temp agency. They will make you feel smart just by being able to write your own name.
You then leave and usually in the next 24 hours you get a call from the ARSE offering you a wildly inappropriate and underpaid position and one which you were not looking for in the first place. One agency I applied with for legal secretary work called to offer me a position as a medical filing clerk. Ignore the fear that if you say 'no' to the first role they will not offer you another one. You are their bread and butter. For once, they must kiss your arse and not the other way around. I learnt the hard way years ago after accepting the first position that was offered to me and ended up in a two week filing job at $9 an hour. Learn from my mistake.
I normally don't name and shame because despite stupidity and illogical processes, most people in firms and agencies are well-intentioned. However there are rare, stunning examples of complete dickheaded-ness which make me feel obliged to identify - not so much to castigate but to warn others.
Julia Ross….come on DOWN!!!!!
(Rant to be continued - I have just been given some filing and told that B comes before C)
posted by belle de dayjob at 3:42 am
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