Shocking fact o' the day

Dear Lawyer who I am working for in my most recent float assignment,

You seem pleasant enough - especially so because we keep missing each other - when you venture forth from your office to hand me amendments I am usually in the kitchen having a good time with the chocolate vending machine and when I return the amendments to your office, you are having Very Important Meetings down in the staff restaurant.

But to save both of us some time and hassle, let me tell you something that I seem to be very good at disguising in this firm: I CAN READ.

I thought you may have picked up on this from glimpsing the quickly-navigated-from websites that I peruse when you approach me from behind to give me more work (ooh matron).

But you obviously haven't - or are just being polite in trying not to ascribe to me an intellect that would lead you to ask why the hell I am working here - either way, when you forward me emails which require some kind of editing/copying/scanning/printing, you can write the directions WITHIN THE EMAIL so I can actually get it done even if you then disappear for hours on end without having to sit like a chump at my desk waiting for your return so you can tell me what you want done with it.