When they say...

The IT Department:

When they say 'we will deliver the laptop that you have booked for a week to your fee earner so you don't have to collect it yourself'

They mean 'We will send both you and your fee earner an email when the laptop is ready stating that it MUST BE COLLECTED AND SIGNED FOR as they do not distribute internally to offices' making you look like an idiot as you have assured your fee earner that the laptop will come to him and not the other way around.

Print Room:

When they say 'you don't need to pre-book with us for an overnight photocopying job'

They mean 'We will not accept the photocopying job you bring to us as you are leaving at 5.29pm because you didn't prebook it like we never told you to so you will just have to work late and finish the job on your crappy little photocopier on your floor and don't come running to us when it runs out of toner right in the middle of your job because you didn't pre-book that either.'

Business Services:

When they say 'Give us your overtime form and we will make sure it reaches payroll in time for the next salary processing date'....well, they actually mean that. What they don't say, or do, is that they will give it directly to Payroll without getting it authorised by HR first so that when it reaches Payroll, it sits there under a pile on someone's desk for 6 weeks and you don't get paid when Business Services said you would get paid - which happens to be in the middle of your holiday in Paris and you are totally screwed.